Self Motivated

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Response to Self Motivated

This is the first response to personal blogs. I will respond to personal blogs after commenting on them to expand on the thoughts provoked by the blog in a more welcome setting. I imagine if I ranted my thoughts in comment form they would go unappreciated. Here others interested enough in the comment i left on their page can further explore their own effect on my mind. Also we the readers can use others as examples to make important distinctions and discuss them. All of these efforts contribute to the single goal of increasing traffic and dialogue to the primary blog "Save the World." Now I will respond to this personal blog.

My comment to the author was - Trust yourself. You have put yourself right where you belong. Cleaning and organizing can be more enjoyable because it applies toward building the world you want to live in. Smiles :)

as a tribute to the author unknowingly sponsoring my ideological disection of her very socially acceptable even strongly healthy and vibrant life. In retrospect my entire opinion on this point in total sum boils down to simply.
But remember, being genuine is a gift to yourself and to others... And I think Shakespeare said some shit like that too.


I'm not sure where to start, I got a lot out of this posting. Here we have what I understand to be a New Jersey Housewife outlining her dissapointment and frustration with what appears to her to be a morally upstanding yet unfulfilling experience.

Basically what strikes me most is that the awesomeness of her enthusiasm and hopeful attitude towards life was focused on her plans or her conception of what is enjoyable instead of enjoyability itself. She at once rewards her own morality while at the same time resenting it. There is a value system implied prioritizing her individual existance and deprioritizing participation in her own life. She is looking for escape from a blend of external influences and her own choices that have conspired to leave her clinging to what she thinks she is supposed to do.

I think that a solution to the problem is if she made choices and undertook actions out of an inner desire to want to do them but instead is trying to maintain fears of what happens if she doesnt keep up with what she is supposed to do or what is expected of her.

She paints herself as moral and upstanding while simultaneously resenting her own sick daughter.

The plans she had made of getting out and getting things done was a more appealing use of time and energy than addressing an unexpected problem.

Refers to herself as patient sarcastically vindicating her frustration and resentment for the intrusion on her planned and controlled albeit compromised life by the burden of responsibility.

Glamour is a value that got disappointed in this instance expressed by the activities of recycling, grocery shopping and registering daughters for sports. These are seemingly respectable activities that she no doubt would have rewarded her ego of how much benevolence she is involved in.

B-O-O H-O-O she got her wish. Now her day truly is for the benefit of others and she doesnt like it. So I ask what Glamour existed in her original plan at all if it wasn't benevolent and it certainly wasn't glamorous in the materialistic sense. What glamour had she in mind in the first place but the false representation of herself? What was it she was hoping for besides a private and personal existance. What's wrong with wanting some alone time?

She points out deriving fulfillment from spending time with her daughter. What about the fulfillment of a job well done? Isn't their real value in the sense of commodities in providing assistance to those in need especially the closer they are in your life. For instance, I now have an excuse to put off all my responsibilities for the day, I also get to spend time with not only a person but a person that I understand well and enjoy. I get to be their hero and improve their level of respect and appreciation of me even if they dont know it or express it they have to respect me because they cant escape the fact that they rely on me in a world of physical needs. This makes me dominant and adds to my empowerment and legitimacy as a person as a social and political entity I have earned support from my constituents. That dose of righteousness alone is more rewarding than a private existance. Also the rapport between me and my daughter improves making us more symbiotic and the world less lonely than it was before she got sick. Am I describing bonding as a commodity? This commodity can be used to satisfy selfish desires in a healthy manner.

Next she's obligated to be mature. First off don't be obligated to anything empower yourself to make choices you agree with inwardly. Secondly don't be mature defining actions by responding to the fear of what happens if i dont is infact inmature.

Cleaning the house top to bottom is something that either does or does not apply to building her choice environment. If it does enjoy it, if it doesnt do something that does lest you find your life unenjoyable. Wouldn't you rather throw maturity, whatever that is, out the window in exchange for happiness? Than the only reason you don't is for fear of what happens if you do. If you concern yourself with reward instead of fear you may very well find yourself living nearly the exact same lifestylfe with a different heart.

obligated to be mature? Thats a huge oxymoron. Obligated to be mature? That's not mature at all. That is resignation to the slavery of being defined by the expectations of others. You should obligate yourself to be liberated. Follow your heart and be happy. You'll find that your heart leads you to the things you truly value and enjoy and when you look around to see what those are you'll realize you are right where you started, except with a twinkle in your eye and a better connection and mutual understanding with the people you love.

The differance is whether we attempt to control what we are losing or if we attempt to engage in what can be had.

Shes thankful for her house. I believe that shes worked hard or otherwise earned it however if it was what she wanted for the right reasons than upkeeping it would be second nature and self fulfilling. Since upkeep is viewed as seperate from residing it is resented while the other is enjoyed. If instead they were combined as one complete whole than the act of cleaning would be rewarding in itself as it directly contributes to residence. Her motivation for cleaning the house is to prevent the realization of her fears of living i a dirty house. Her motivation should be the creation of her desire to live in a clean house or the creation of her desire to relax.

She takes her own house for granted and doesn't comprehend how the pieces of the life she's living interconnect to eachother. This means she is not taking responsibilty for her choices but is constantly serving a sense of entitlement that is likely insatiable.

Her solution is to understand what her insides yearn for and focus on building that. What she is doing instead is satisfying what the external world expects of her and focusing on maintaining that. The emptyness she is experiencing is a result of following someone elses heart afraid that who she actually is isn't as good or good enough as those who pass judgement on her. Confidence and trust in herself will bring happiness to her instantaneously all she has to do is become the leader of her own decisions.

She says she is having a mid-life crisis. I think that lines up with my analysis. As crude and offensive as my assessment may be I think that it may help her find some answers, assuming that people having a midlife crisis want help.

Maybe she just wants attention to fuel maintenance of her fear based obligations. What more will she do for attention later and what will she and others do with attention isn't enough to fill the void? The world as anyone in that situation knows it will violently crash to pieces and they will be forced to make new choices. That is painful and scary and not as easy as changing directions by gaining a new understanding of ones current situation.

The reason is simple. If a person feels emptyness inside which happens to describe the majority of our society than, they are engaged in a lifestyle which expends more than it produces. Hence emptyness. To solve this one must engage in a lifestyle that produces more than it expends. This is done by letting go of the things we are attached to and only involving ourselves in the things that make sense to us.

The obligation to go to your sons baseball game is better unfulfilled than it is satisfied for the wrong reasons. When you don't trust yourself than your options are limited to satisfying what your needs are or doing what your expected to do and often they contradict eachother and sometimes satisfying your needs are unethical. People make the mistake of thinking these are their only options and resent the fact that they should have to choose between unsatisfied needs and being ashamed of themselves in the eyes of what is expected then they rationlize lying a necessity of everyday life.

There is a secret option #3 which is to trust yourself and let go of what is not you. If someone trusts themself than they will always be themselves, the can always be honest and they will always find happiness however that doesnt mean that the mortgage will necessarily be paid.

It's a question of value systems. Are we trying to live up to our responsibilies or are we more interested in letting our dreams reveal themselves for what they are. Fantastic, whereas responsibilities will always be mediocre to ourselves no matter how we paint them for others simply because we dont actually believe in our responsibilities whereas we do believe in our dreams.

The gangster who has a responsibility to kill people may be exceptional in presentation, affiliation and media however he doesn't believe in what he is doing. The gangster who believes killing this or that particular person in this or that particular situation, right or wrong better or worse is inwardly fulfilled for the simple fact that they believe in what they are doing. When that person realizes that they killed the wrong person for the wrong reason even though they thought it was right will be remorseful and endeavor for better understanding, clearer sight and wiser decisions but he will still always be fulfilled even in his mistakes because he believes in himself.

That is why I hold societal and cultural standards at large in question and urge the expression of self especially in socially unacceptable ways. That is why I find the morally justifiable disgusting.

I would rather be a sincere but mistaken murderer than I would an upstanding yet enslaved member of society. My suggestion is for everyone to be completely selfish but according to an inner definition of what applies to the self's desires and not an external definition of what selfish people are like. In fact my suggestion is to look inward for answers and decisions.